I worried my son wouldn't talk to me when he started college. I have him send me a 'proof-of-life' selfie every day.

This year marked a significant transition in my life as my son left home to start his first year of college. Living over five hours away, I knew our visits would be limited, making me anxious about how we would maintain our connection. To prepare for this new chapter, I immersed myself in various blogs and parent discussions to understand how best to support him during this transition.

Amidst my research, I encountered frequent stories from parents who had lost contact with their college-bound kids for weeks, leaving them feeling neglected and worried. As I began packing my son’s belongings, I felt a growing concern about our communication and whether he would still reach out to me once he settled into his new life. In an effort to mitigate my anxiety, I proposed a plan for maintaining a daily connection.

Together, we came up with a reasonable set of expectations: he would send a daily text, which could include anything from a meal photo to a selfie with a friend or anything that caught his interest on campus. In addition, we agreed to have a weekly phone or video chat. This arrangement not only allowed him to communicate in a way that felt comfortable but also eased my worries without overwhelming him.

As the semester progressed, our “proof of life” communications became a cherished part of our routine. Every morning, I’d text him to wish him well, and in return, I received delightful pictures of his culinary creations, sunsets, and updates about his day. These exchanges allowed us to share in each other’s lives, fostering a sense of closeness even from afar.

The day I moved him into his dorm, emotions ran high as I hugged him goodbye. With a bittersweet feeling, I drove away, tears hidden behind my sunglasses, while “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” played on the radio. In that moment, I felt reassured that our relationship could not only survive but flourish through this new phase, especially with the daily check-ins we had established.