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E L H O T Z O

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E L H O T Z O

German comedian, influencer and podcast producer
@elhotzo · 736,751 Followers
@elhotzo
4 Followers

You have to decide, cheer for Trump OR complain about 3€ gasoline, both together don't work. (translated)

Aside from the fact that it is obviously bullshit, it is a disgrace for us that CEOs can stand up and calmly explain that their products could potentially end the world and have absolutely no consequences to fear for it. (translated)

The minimum wage is €1715 net, gasoline costs €2.40, the average car consumes 7.5 liters, the average warm rent is 35% of income, which means you can live a maximum of 30 km from your workplace if you still want to eat out occasionally. (translated)

WHY DOES EVERYTHING COST MONEY FOOD TRANSPORT INSURANCE HOUSING EVERY STEP OUT THE FRONT DOOR COSTS 50€ EVERY MONTH THE STUPIDIST WAR OF ALL TIME IS BEING FOUGHT BECAUSE OF THAT ORANGE BASTARD A PIPELINE IS BEING BLOWN UP AND HEATING COSTS ARE DOUBLING LEAVE ME ALONE (translated)

I'm not a political scientist, but it may not be such a good idea to let a party come to power that talks about using weapons against refugees just a week after winning the elections. (translated)

"The AfD cannot be right-wing extremist if it is elected by so many" sounds somehow wrong, I wish there were a well-known historical example from Germany where a right-wing extremist party was elected by majority. (translated)

Voters in Saxony-Anhalt would have easily voted 47% for the CDU if there were still an additional public broadcaster talk show where "everyone" is spoken to. (translated)

the 2010s were so intense, it simply came out that American secret services monitor absolutely everything and everyone, and the public reaction was "well, that was somehow clear" (translated)

Please stop spreading dangerous misinformation regarding the alleged death of the American president; you are unnecessarily giving people a reason to have hope. (translated)

Bitte hört auf Handwerker, Pflegekraft, Ärztin oder Bauarbeiter zu werden, wir brauchen mehr gekokste BWLer, die PowerPoint-Präsentationen erstellen, in denen erklärt wird, dass 20.000 abgebaute Stellen gut für den Aktienkurs sind #BWL #Kraftwerk #Jobmarkt

The concept of gendering is so intense that a few students wanted to speak a little nicer in 2020, and because of that, hundreds of thousands of Germans developed such a psychosis that they believe they have to vote for the AfD. (translated)

The media writes about East German AfD voters like tropical researchers from the 19th century about first contact with indigenous people, "In distant Zeitz, the rules of our civilization are suspended here, hardly anyone can determine what priorities this people sets." (translated)

It is as chill as the world's largest nuclear arsenal being in the hands of a right-wing grandpa who is so senile that he wouldn't even be allowed to operate the raclette grill at the family Christmas party. (translated)

One could easily found an Anti-Merz Party (AMP) in Germany, whose only content is that Friedrich Merz should never speak publicly again, and it would instantly achieve an absolute majority. (translated)

E L H O T Z O Aug 11

Real estate companies love to say "Expropriations are much less effective in reducing rents than our strategy: building apartments!", only to absolutely not build any apartments at all. (translated)

E L H O T Z O Aug 11

The Greens have drained the Rhine so they can prohibit the average consumer from having their pool. (translated)

There has been a drought for weeks, please stop being so selfish by showering every day and drinking up to 2 liters, you are taking water away from the golf courses. (translated)

One understands this country significantly better when one realizes that 95% of all political power lies with exactly this demographic. (translated)

The end of humanity through AI would be extremely embarrassing, but still a more dignified end than "decades of predictable global warming." (translated)

The correct criticism of this AfD candidate is, by the way, not "haha your bachelor's thesis was about scent marketing," but "you complete loser studied business administration." (translated)